Take one for the team man... |
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Movie Review: Horrible Bosses
Finally, a comedy that made me laugh. You might recall my disappointment with Your Highness and The Hangover Part II. My jaded heart kept me uneasy about Horrible Bosses, it sounded funny in theory but so did those movies. Well don't fret, Horrible Bosses brings the lulz big time.
Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day play Nick, Kurt and Dale. These three buddies like to sit around, get drunk and complain about their...you guessed it, horrible bosses. Each has found themselves enslaved to some type of monstrous uber dick (or in Jennifer Aniston's case, cunt?). Kevin Spacey's character in this film is quite literally the antichrist and makes the pussified version of Lex Luthor he played in Superman Returns look like Winnie the Pooh. Colin Farrell plays a coked out asshole of epic proportions who manages to simultaneously project both creepiness and douchebaggery across the screen. Aniston, well she isn't really all that bad. Infact, Charlie Day is probably the luckiest dude in the film because his "horrible boss" is a smoking hot sex crazed nympho who wants nothing more to explore his penis with every facet of her body. Of course the shit she does to poor Charlie's Dale character goes beyond the bounds of sexual harassment/blackmail/borderline rape but still, I'd have just nailed her and asked for a bonus! I can't be alone on this one can I?
So after each guy hits their breaking point they all decide to end their work place torment and kill their tyrannical employers. This is where Horrible Bosses succeeds. While not all of us have ever dreamed of assassinating our supervisors, I'm certain nearly everyone has or will have at one point in their lives, had a a total dipshit of a boss who they simply could not stand. Horrible Bosses mixes everyone's favorite Ressentiment revenge fantasy with dick jokes, cocaine and Jennifer Aniston's sexiness. It's a winning combo if I've ever seen one. Sure, the basic plot is all a big harebrained scheme and some of Charlie Day's antics border on cartoon zaniness but it works. Everyone in the cast is great, the dialogue is fast and witty and although the final act feels a little rushed the it's still a highly entertaining movie overall.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Why I, "Just Say No"
me in 20 years |
My post about Russian beer regulation and the headlines from Amy Winehouse's death got me thinking about society and it's complacency with drugs. I'm not talking about the bullshit U.S. War on Drugs. Criminalizing this stuff is a horrid idea. I'm talking about people's willful desire to slowly but surely poison themselves. Why are so many people down to kill brain cells? Why does society largely ostracize those who refrain from recreational drug/alcohol use? Next time someone looks at me like an alien when I say I don't do that, I'll tell them Kermit, Tigger, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Alf, Garfield, Bugs Bunny, Huey, Duey and Louie told me not to.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Breaking International News!
In Soviet Russia, BEER DRINKS YOU!
For the first time ever, the Russian government will now classify beer as alcohol and not a softdrink/foodstuff. The sale of beer will now be restricted, with designated times and places.
This amuses me to no end.
For the first time ever, the Russian government will now classify beer as alcohol and not a softdrink/foodstuff. The sale of beer will now be restricted, with designated times and places.
This amuses me to no end.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Female Obsession: Stacey Dash
Stacey Dash is easily one of the most beautiful creatures in the history of all creation. I find it almost impossible to believe that at 45 years old, she's been in showbiz longer than I've been alive! Part African/Mexican, Stacey's beauty defies all logic. She, Marisa Tomei and a select handful of other actresses have either traded their souls to Lucifer or found a legitimate fountain of youth somewhere because these women simply do not age and shall remain drop dead gorgeous for eternity.
1995 represent! |
(Whats up Paul Rudd? RIP Brittany Murphy)
Clueless is really Stacey's biggest claim to fame. Her IMDb profile isn't exactly jumping with high profile projects (Mo' Money, Renaissance Man, etc) but damn if I care. I will literally watch anything she is associated with. That's how the inspiration for this latest edition of Female Obsession came about. It was late one night/early morning and I had just come back from work. I'm flipping through the channels on TV and see the lovely Stacey Dash on some VH1 show. Single Ladies is the show, and it's an urban (re: black) version of Sex and City taking place in Atlanta instead of NYC. I didn't watch the whole episode but was ecstatic that Stacey was back in my life. She's spent a good portion of the last 20 years being being a wife/mother (3 marriages, 6 engagements, 2 kids!) and hopefully this new project will give her the career boost she deserves.
Here's MOAR Stacey Dash being gorgeous:
I'll leave you with perhaps Stacey's second most well known role, as Kanye's girl in the "All Falls Down" video. Damn you TSA. DAMN YOU!
*Bonus Clip*
Smoking hot modeling shoot. Dash overload.
Stacey Dash Meets K+R from Creative Control on Vimeo.
Friday, July 22, 2011
About to get Slaughtered...
Warped Tour/Ozzfest for Scumbags =) |
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Woe Is Me: Nicolas Cage
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Glory Days (The mid 90's) |
Monday, July 18, 2011
Movie Review: The Tree of Life
"...no one can be told what The Matrix is..." |
Beautiful. Touching. Heart-wrenching. WTF? Yeah, that's how I'd summarize Terrance Malick's new film, The Tree of Life. Malick has been a director for over forty years but the dude has only directed six films throughout the course of his career. I had only seen one of his movies before this, 2005's The New World but I remember loving that film when it came out (my girlfriend HATED it) so on the strength of my memories from Malick's Pocahontas romp, I bought our tickets and dragged my girl to yet another Malick experiment, The Tree of Life.
The good news is she didn't hate this one. The bad news, we were both drained and confused as fuck when we left the theater. Not confused as fuck, more like, fucking confused. The Tree of Life literally encompasses the beginning of all life in the universe while simultaneously crafting a poignant coming of age story set in 1950's America. Talk about lofty goals. If it weren't for the twenty minute Kubrick-esque head trip and the wishy-washy ending I'd say Malick's latest film would be in the running for my favorite film of 2011 (hell, it still probably will be). I don't want to spoil what little plot there is, but it's a very powerful drama that will touch anyone with a beating heart. Life, death, innocence, spirituality, love, hate, anger, joy, sorrow, regrets, forgiveness...dinosaurs. That's what The Tree of Life is all about. Make sense?
who's awesome? This cast is awesome. |
As for Malick, he's an artist in every sense of the world. He uses the camera like Van Halen shreds guitar. Intricate little nuances (wind blowing in the grass) turn into larger than life shots of the cosmos (no really, that). Aesthetically, the film is amazing. It's so easy to get caught up in The Tree of Life's dazzling images and haunting soundscapes it's kind of scary. Too bad the film's oddball overreaching sequences detract from what is otherwise a truly immersing film experience.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Crunch Time: The Dillinger Escape Plan
awesome photo of Ben, borrowed from HERE |
Still reeling from my last Dillinger encounter, it's no wonder that they are the focus of this latest installment of Crunch Time. I've gushed about The Dillinger Escape Plan numerous times here at Jim's Fear (as noted in the past, my blog is named after one of their songs) but for those newcomers/amnesia sufferers out there, here's a brief 411 on the band. DEP have been cranking out their high octane brand of math/tech metal since the late 90's. Insane time signatures, jaw dropping virtuosity, catchy hooks, monster breakdowns and snazzy jazz breaks, the band does it all. Their live shows are renowned for their epic displays of carnage (blood, sweat, fire breathing!). Dillinger's lineup and sound has changed greatly over the years but despite their continued flirtation with some semblance of mainstream success, they continue to shred faces all the same to this very day.
So it's with great pleasure that I present today's feature, easily one of the heaviest/ most infectious riffs ever recorded. It will smash you to bits before becoming ingrained in your head for eternity. Decibel Magazine ranked this diddy #9 on their "Top 50 Extreme Metal Riffs of All Time" list. It's the riff that's launched countless mosh pits/pile-on's this millennium. The intro riff to Calculating Infinity's epic, "43% Burnt."
"dun-dun-dun-dun. DUN DUN. dun-dun-dun-dun-dun."
Yes. Oh lawd yes. Did you folks survive that? I know Dimitri's (old singer) vocals can be a bit much. Some people might not even consider this stuff music, more like a random hodgepodge of noise. I used to be in that camp until I saw the band live back in 04'. Now I live for this shit. How about that awesome circus music bit @ 1:43 mark? That's what this is basically. Music for trig professors and circus clowns aboard a derailing freight train...and it all comes together with that CRUNCH TIME style riff again in the outro. DUN DUN.
*Bonus*
For those of you who couldn't handle the vocals, here's a live, sanitized version of Dillinger playing "Panasonic Youth/43% Burnt" in the studio sans screaming. The riff comes in @ 2:28.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead @ The Echoplex. 6/17/11.
I first got into Trail of Dead in 2005 when Worlds Apart first came out. My trusty community college was right next to a Tower Records and there I spent large chunks of time reading about music/movies and buying lots of music/movies. It was awesome. I got Worlds Apart, loved it then got 2002's Source Tags and Codes and loved it even more. I sort of lost track of the band after that point. Life threw us on separate paths I suppose. So now it's 2011 and Trail of Dead's latest album, Tao of the Dead rules pretty hard. I'm glad these fellows have wondered back onto my radar and equally glad I finally got to see them live in concert.
Missed the opening acts but made it to the Echoplex just as Austin's finest finished setting up their gear. Echo Park is so much closer than hassling a drive to Hollywood, I'm glad Trail of Dead took my best interests at heart when deciding to book this show. Yeah, so the band came out and blazed through the last half of their new album. Everyone, save for the cocaine binge dude dancing to my left, zoned out and watched as Trail of Dead brought most of Tao of the Dead to life before our eyes. Then they played some older stuff, and the audience went nuts. As soon as the opening notes from "Will You Smile Again For Me" were played as the peaceful looking hipster types in the crowd went ballistic and started jumping and even moshing like it was a Limp Bizkit concert in the early 00's! Kind of funny/strange for me everytime I see these normal folks let loose at non-extreme metal shows but hey, to each their own.
Conrad breaking shit...unintentionally these days |
My favorite moments of the night were, of course the tracks off Worlds Apart and Source Tags and Codes. I wanted to record "How Near How Far," so I could relive the awesomeness forever but decided to put my camera down and just rock out instead. The consolation prize/video is pretty sweet though. Here's Source Tags' "It Was There That I Saw You," with Conrad fucking up Jason's guitar that he's using prompting them to play the song again from the beginning. HA. Good times.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Ghostface Killah lawsuit
Tony Starks in action |
I think it's lame that the dude waited oh eleven years to launch this law suit. Talk about opportunism. If anyone should be pissed it's Marvel Comics since Ghost has been on an Iron Man kick FOREVER (one of his many aliases is Tony Starks for crying out loud). But no, Marvel doesn't care and in fact, Ghostface even had a cameo in the first Iron Man but got cut to due to the film's running time.
Copyright or not, Urbont is douche. I'll be blasting Supreme Clientele when I'm 90.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Movie Review: Super 8
won't bring you down |
Kudos to Abrams for just about everything in this film. The cast (all the kid actors are aces and even the normally stiff parentals do a fair job), the dialogue ("Production value!") and the big FX scenes are all pretty rad...especially the gnarly train derailment. It really surprised me how multifaceted Super 8 turned out to be. I don't want to ruin the plot for those of you who are even more late than I am and haven't see this movie yet, but this film has a lot more emotional depth than I was expecting. Yes, there are some hokey as hell Goonies-esque moments that kind of annoyed me, but the film has it's share of touching/somber moments as well. A lesser director might have screwed this mashing of sci-fi & drama up big time but Abrams is following from the MASTER's playbook here and I can imagine him literally saying, "what would Spielberg do?" and ended up totally nailing it. I love how the big bad alien remains hidden from sight throughout most of the film à la Jaws, it really builds up the suspense by letting the audiences imagination run wild. Also like Jaws, once we finally see the creature, it's a bit of a letdown because no CGI alien or robotic shark is scarier than our own psyches.
I think that's why I liked Super 8 so much, for it's imagination (inb4 ripping off Spielberg is imaginative). This film hearkens back to a time when mainstream Hollywood releases didn't rely solely on explosions and 3D or Michael Bay to scam people of their money. When legit studio films actually entertained you without insulting your intelligence. Abrams has made a damn fine little film here and his tribute to E.T.'s daddy proves that it's time for the real Slim Shady/Steven Spielberg to please stand up and reclaim Hollywood from mediocrity.
...but Spielberg produced Michael Bay's Transformers films. Aw fuck.
*BONUS
Super 8 also has quite a badass soundtrack. Totally in keeping with the late 70's. The Knack, Blondie, The Cars and ELO in the house. Here's ELO's "Don't Bring Me Down" because it's such a hard ass tune and has been stuck in my head ever since I left the theater.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
History FAIL
I'm a strange guy. I seem to enjoy things most people genuinely hate. From light speed death metal with blast beats at 250bpms (lul wat?), uber depressing films, abstaining from recreational drug & alcohol use, you hate it and I'll probably love it. It's always been this way though. Even as a kid I liked all the crap in school everyone else yawned at. Figures I would grow up and a get a useless BA in History (cum laude...but who's asking?).
So it always brings a smile to my face when I see people flub basic history facts. It especially warms my heart when I see Right-wing/holier than thou/"Real American" douche lords totally butcher their oh so cherished American history. In this day and age, with the power of the internetz, you can look up just about anything...and yet they FAIL regardless. Gotta love it.
Here's the always awesome Sarah Palin misspeaking about the exploits of Paul Revere.
Finally, it's Michele Bachmann's turn. She is the scarier upgrade to Palin's cutesy/batshit conservative persona. The T-1000 to Palin's T-800/Schwarzenegger if you will. Here she is re-imagining the nature of The United States of America's creation, that our nation was founded by noble abolitionist...children?
lulz. I love it. I really do.
So it always brings a smile to my face when I see people flub basic history facts. It especially warms my heart when I see Right-wing/holier than thou/"Real American" douche lords totally butcher their oh so cherished American history. In this day and age, with the power of the internetz, you can look up just about anything...and yet they FAIL regardless. Gotta love it.
Here's the always awesome Sarah Palin misspeaking about the exploits of Paul Revere.
Finally, it's Michele Bachmann's turn. She is the scarier upgrade to Palin's cutesy/batshit conservative persona. The T-1000 to Palin's T-800/Schwarzenegger if you will. Here she is re-imagining the nature of The United States of America's creation, that our nation was founded by noble abolitionist...children?
lulz. I love it. I really do.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
4th of July (on the 5th!)
*Note* This post was scheduled for last night but Blogger decided not to follow my explicit instructions.
Yay. America. Land of the stuff. Buy from the brave. Wash, rinse, repeat. etc. etc.
Don't get me wrong. I love being an American. I'd much rather live here in sunny Southern California and deal with the trivial perils of my bourgeois prison (re: life) than living in some hard ass Third World country somewhere. Yeah our government is pretty incompetent/corrupt. Our rights are being trampled by the ever increasing police state. Our citizens don't have the highest IQ's on the planet (creationists/global warming deniers) and we have the most backwards healthcare system in the industrial world, but at least our prison system rocks! No wait...
So yeah, as much as I enjoy raining on my country's nationalist parade, I still love this damn stolen land of mine. I dedicate this video to you ol' USA. Happy Birthday ya bastard.
go easy on her...she 235 yrs old |
Don't get me wrong. I love being an American. I'd much rather live here in sunny Southern California and deal with the trivial perils of my bourgeois prison (re: life) than living in some hard ass Third World country somewhere. Yeah our government is pretty incompetent/corrupt. Our rights are being trampled by the ever increasing police state. Our citizens don't have the highest IQ's on the planet (creationists/global warming deniers) and we have the most backwards healthcare system in the industrial world, but at least our prison system rocks! No wait...
So yeah, as much as I enjoy raining on my country's nationalist parade, I still love this damn stolen land of mine. I dedicate this video to you ol' USA. Happy Birthday ya bastard.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Deftones & The Dillinger Escape Plan @ The Palladium, Hollywood. 6/10/11.
word. |
Teri from Le Butcherettes @ a different show |
The time had come. Dillinger was next. Surrounded by a few other metal dorks near the front, I went nuts as my favorite band of bros took the stage. They opened with "Farewell, Mona Lisa" off their latest record, Option Paralysis, and all was right with the world. The thing about Dillinger is that they're a strange band. Most of their old material is full on, raging technical (and I mean bust out your graphing calculator) metal. A lot of their new stuff is still complex but has more of a rock 'n' roll vibe that the average Joe can bob their head too. Regardless of what they're playing, The Dillinger Escape Plan's live performances are always "intense" to say the least. With little regard for their own safety, the members of DEP flail and jump around not only the stage, but often entire venues like satanic acrobats. There's usually lots of bruises, blood and smashed instruments at the end of a Dillinger Escape Plan show.
Ben from DEP in the crowd |
(skip to the 7:20 mark...sound is kind of bogus =/ )
They got a pretty wicked ovation from the Deftones crowd. Mission accomplished guys.
Immediately after Dillinger finished the chants for "DEFTONES!" and "CHINO!" began. The crowd started to surge forward and the body heat index rose dramatically. I was already tired from work, and had just sweated to the oldies with my pals DEP. I needed water and air conditioning stat. We retreated to the safety of the snack bar and regrouped. I knew this meant losing our pristine spot near the stage but I didn't care anymore at this point. Besides, there is nothing worse at a concert than drunk "normies." Regular people who only go to a few big shows a year (if that) and get super wasted while doing so. There's a certain etiquette you learn in the underground metal scene. I've seen sweaty Mongoloids in the pit at a Suffocation show act more politely than 9-5 office types who get super belligerent at their one concert experience of the decade. It's super annoying and kind of scary when there's thousands of them in one giant room.
So the Deftones came out and as expected, the Palladium went bonkers. They opened with the title track of their latest album, "Diamond Eyes," and that opening guitar riff was easily the loudest thing I've heard since Pig Destroyer blew my ear drums out @ the Knitting Factory in 09'. All the normies started pushing and hassling each other. Bumping into girlfriends and spilled beers are bound to happen folks. Live and let live I say. Anyways, the band was super fired up. Touring with Tasmanian Devils like DEP and Le Butcherettes must have put Deftones on the offensive. Chino (Deftones' singer and patron saint for all Mexican rock fans in Southern California) ran around like a man possessed, utilizing the stage ramps and allowing us poor souls in the back to see what was going on up there. His voice was top notch as well. Last time I saw Deftones was in 2003 when they opened for Metallica and unfortunately, they and Chino especially, sounded horrible. Luckily tonight they came with their A+ game.
blurry Deftones are blurry |
My two highlights of the night were the special duets Chino did with Teri from Le Butcherettes and Greg from DEP on "Knife Party" and "Passenger." I wish I would have kept my spot near the front for these two performances alone. Oh wells. Can't believe they played "Knife Party." So awesome. haha. All three bands put on stellar performances. I'm glad I was exposed to Le Butcherettes and plan on keeping my eye on them. I'm glad I could support the mighty Dillinger Escape Plan and that they won over such a massive audience. I'm glad Chino and co. totally erased that bad experience from Metallica's Summer Sanitarium II tour from my memory with this awesome headlining spot. I'm just glad.
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