Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I GET JOKES: Existential Porn Crisis

artwork by Tiffany Reza

Summer 2001:

It took some time to find you, navigating the backwoods of AOL for safe passage. Last Friday at Johnny’s, in his dad’s den at 2am. That’s where I fell in love. Fell in love at the keyboard. “Forget about her,” they said. “Who cares?” I did. Those punks just wanted a quick fix. I was in it for the long haul. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, but they don’t swim like you Angel. By swim…I mean take three dicks at the same time.  

Angel la Cox.  19/f/Cali. Part German, Hispanic, and whatever you desire. They don’t have girls like you in St. Claire Falls that’s for sure. We’re going to Disneyland for Cindy’s next birthday. So close, but so far. They have nude beaches out west huh? I bet all the sand in your crack isn’t as bad as Damien Rod’s, rod. Just kidding. You took it like a champ. It was beautiful.

The Painal Group homepage says that Back Door Auditions vol. III was your first role. Ten years from now you’ll be 29 and ready to retire. I should be out of college by then. This could work. This could really work…

Shit. Foot steps. Can’t you call grandma later? Angel’s new MPEG is almost done downloading. Only 53 more minutes to go! Fine. Your house, your phone, your rules. I’ll log on tonight when they’re asleep. This new clip, 45 seconds of heaven, it’s worth the risk. I’ll be back Angel. I swear.



Winter 2013:
Grad School. What a joke. I should have got a real job. Or joined the Army. Fuck this library. I need a beer. Why the hell is Denise calling me when she’s knows I’m doing research? Fiance or not, she fucking bugs. Taking a break…

Headlines.
“Gridlock in DC: Congress to…,”   “Top cities for Twenty…” “Shocking: Former Porn Star on trial…”
Angel? Angel la Cox?!

2006, assault. 2008, methamphetamine and prostitution charges brought after motel raid. 2011, New Apostle Congregation of the Holy Spirit welcomes an…oh Angel. What happened?
 
You were so young and graceful. Your pelvis galloped on those flesh toned condoms like a thoroughbred. All the fame and accolades? The AVN for best new starlet? Why’d you start blowing guys off Craigslist?! Cops have computers too girl! How could this have happened?

I’ve been so caught up. I swear I didn’t know. I…why the fuck is Denise still calling?! God.

I remember you signed with Dirty Diva Productions. I just finished high school. Oh shit, it says you did interracial? Wow. Ok, bookmarked.
Has it really been ten, no wait, twelve years ago. In Derrick’s garage looking at your jpegs online.

What happened to you…what happened to us?

Car payments, Denise, Stanford, Econ fucking happened. Oh Christ what’s the point. You’re cooking rock in some trailer; I’m scouring periodicals from online databases. We’re slaves. We fucked up somewhere and now we’re lost and miserable. You’re turning tricks for cash and Denise won’t stop fucking texting me either! OFF. PHONE OFF.

I’m sorry Angel. I wasn’t there. I’m so sorry. For the both of us. I need to make things right. The only way I can.
New tab. Red Tube search: Angel la Cox.
Fuck this library.


4 comments:

  1. I'm laughing so hard right now even though it took me a while to get this haha, basically your favourite porn star had a massive fall from grace right haha, well as far as you can fall after being in the adult film industry, love this buddy.

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  2. I think there could be real money in presenting the real life stories of adult entertainers. I just don't have the interest in putting my name near it.

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  3. LOL that the way the porn star bends, in and out into awful trends.

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  4. I couldn't stop smiling, my cheeks hurt! I'm so happy I didn't have a specific 'love' from my most perverted days. So lucky.

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