MIA: Birthday Week

"Hey bud, let's party!"

Hey hey Blogger world! I've been MIA lately...sorry about that. I took a mini vacation down to Cornado Island this past week to celebrate my *gasp* 28th birthday. Fun times were had. I also enjoyed one of the gnarliest concert/time travel experiences last week, watching amazing Iron Maiden, Metallica and Rage Against The Machine tribute bands perform at the House of Blues in Anaheim. I should be back to blogging soon, but til then:

Awesome Photo (13)

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taken from James Hetfield's Instagram

Metallica frontman James Hetfield is a 49 year old man. He's also a world famous musician, an award winning songwriter, a millionaire and a father of three. That's why I love the fact that the man still travels around with a sharpie and tags his own song lyrics in public places. It's not graffiti when rockstars do it. Besides, James Hetfield is the man. I'd let him write the lyrics to "Battery" on my face.

...battery is here to stay.

*BONUS VIDEO*
Metallica's 1986 classic, "Battery."

Crunch Time: Megadeth

...take no SHIT

*Welcome to the latest edition of Crunch Time, where I swoon over some of my favorite HEAVY riffs.*

This months issue of Decibel inducts Megadeth's seminal thrash masterwork, Rust In Peace into the annals of their Hall of Fame. I've also been on a bit of a thrash metal kick since I started jamming with a buddy of mine last month. Needless to say, I've been itching for another Crunch Time installment. This one is long overdue. You can't talk about epic guitar riffs without including Dave Mustaine. In his prime, the man was the epitome of heavy metal bad-assery. A true maniac in every sense of the word. Despite his massive drug habit/addictions and penchant for, you know, being out of his gourde insane, Mustaine is easily one of the greatest riff masters EVER. Of course his crowning achievement is Rust In Peace. Riffs for fucking days on this album. It was like pulling teeth trying to narrow the list for this post but I finally managed to make my choice. At the end of the day, it had to be "Take No Prisoners."


Which riff? The whole damn song man! From the buzz saw by way of hornets nest intro riff, to the start stop neck snapper near the 50 second mark, this song is just pure frenzied adrenaline. I can't even imagine the amount of speedballs in Mustaine's system when he wrote this tune. I don't care that he's a cranky old Evangelical Christian/Conservative Republican now. The fact that he survived and made it to his 50's is a miracle (so maybe he IS right about that Jesus stuff huh? haha). He could go down in infamy Michael Jackson style and start sodomizing special Olympians for all I care. Dave's repertoire of epic riffs in Metallica and his brain child Megadeth is un-fucking-touchable. End of story.

*Bonus Clip*
"Take No Prisoners" LIVE in 1990 (Clash of The Titans tour w/ Slayer!!!!!)

If I could go back in time there's only two things I'd want to do. Stop Gavrilo Princip from killing Archduke Franz Ferdinand and starting WWI (which ultimately led to WWII and the Cold War). The other? BE AT THIS SHOW!

Crunch Time: Metallica

so let it be written, so let it be done...

Metallica. The biggest metal band on the planet. They're so huge they can cut off their hair, sue their own fans and suck for the better part of thirteen years and STILL play sold out stadiums around the world. My love/hate/love relationship with the band is well documented. It was only a matter of time before I did a Crunch Time feature on the four horsemen and perhaps the greatest song in their repertoire, "Creeping Death."

Usually there's one awesome riff in a song that brings out my inner caveman and makes me want to blog about it from the mountaintops. "Creeping Death," has two! Yes, the first Crunch Time riff comes in at the 0:20 second mark. This main riff is pretty much the heart of song and sets the galloping pace that has gotten heads banging and fists pumping (pre Jersey Shore) for decades! Just hearing this part conjures images of invading nomads swooping down on unsuspecting villages atop demonic horses, armed with fiery swords. Why? Because it's just that awesome.

The 2nd riff comes in after the guitar solo at the 3:38 mark. This is Kirk Hammet's riff he recycled from his days with Exodus and their song, "Die By His Hand." No biggie though, Kirk wrote the riff and just transplanted it into a better song. Still, they kept the lyrics almost exactly the same, tweaking the original phrase into, "...die by my hand." Either way, the playing of this riff makes me stop in place and spontaneously chant "DIE. DIE!" at the top of my lungs.


riff #1- 0:20       riff #2- 3:38

Another thing I love about this jam is, the lyrics. Metallica got the idea for this song while watching a scene from The Ten Commandments and bassist Cliff Burton (R.I.P.) described the plagues against the Pharaoh as being, "...like creeping death." I totally picture the young dudes in the picture above drunk off their asses and having a total Keanu/Matrix moment.

So there it is. Everything about this song rules. Fantasical/sci-fi lyrics, some of Kirk's finest guitar soloing, these two Crunch Time riffs, and when played live, the INSANE crowd participation during the breakdown. I've already shared my favorite clip of Metallica performing "Creeping Death"
live in my original Metallica/Jason Newsted rant last year (it's from their Wood Stock 99' performance if you're curious). So here's my 2nd favorite live version, from their 1993 concert in Mexico City.

I know Cliff basically named the song, and Rob is a damn fine player and renewed the band's energy...but this video reminds me why I miss Jason Newsted =/

The Big Four

Better late than never?

So today, tickets went on sale for "The Big Four" of thrash metal's only U.S. concert, held the week after the Coachella festival, at the exact same spot as Coachella. Aside from this event's lofty price tag ($100 a ticket, gas for the drive, lodging, weekend off of work, etc) I'm really wondering if it's worth attending.

As I wrote in my previous Anti-Coachella rant, I'm vehemently opposed to watching musicians play before massive crowds, appearing as ants on a stage from mile away. There are only a handful of bands I could enjoy in a setting like that (Rage Against The Machine @ Coachella 2007 was one). I'm sure Metallica will slay the massive crowd, they do epic shows like this all the time, and Slayer are easily the most solid band on the bill, but what about the other two?

MEGADETH:

R.I.P. Rust In Peace era Megadeth

If the Rust In Peace era Megadeth was playing. I'd say yes without hesitation. Not that Megadeth's new hired guns (rotating drummer/lead guitarist) aren't any good, it's just that Dave Mustaine himself has now ruined Megadeth to the point of An Hero status. His vocals have gone to shit (although to be fair, they always kind of sucked), his Born Again Christianity has had the reverse effect and made his ego/erratic behavior even worse. The dude is bringing his own band down. His Affliction style shirt proves my point.

Hello me...meet the real me, and my douchebag way of life.

ANTHRAX:
And Anthrax? Oh boy, I don't even know what to say here. I saw John Bush era Anthrax and they killed. I saw the Joey Belladonna reunion tour era Anthrax, and they killed. So what the hell happened? That other singer they got for 5 mins after the Bush/Belladonna All My Children drama started came and went already. I honestly don't know who their singer is right now. I don't really care either. If they ever complete that new album they've been working on for most of the 00's I'm sure it won't live up to the decade of hype. I never thought I'd say this, bring back the mullets, short shorts and bright colors guys! You need em'!

Metallica's gonna pay us right?

SLAYTALLICA: If I do decide to put up the cash for this event, and manage to convince my buddy to make the trek with me, it will be to watch SLAYER and METALLICA pwn 60,000 people. They may be older, wealthier (lazier) and released some questionable albums (in Tallica's case, horrible!) but both these bands still have it as far as I'm concerned. It may be 20 years late but Metallica and Slayer thrashing together is always appreciated.

The Hottest Tour of 1991...in 2011!

Hellsongs

Hellsongs- Serving up Swedish bits of Heaven

First, I have to thank the folks at Metalsucks.net for inspiring this post. Strange, the day after my lengthy Pantera rant my favorite metal douche lords post THIS.

What? Didn't click the link provided to their original post? It's alright, I'll break it down for ya. The metalsucks cats posted an AWESOME folksy/indie/acoustic cover of Pantera's "Walk" performed by a Swedish trio called Hellsongs. Apparently, the dudes (and gal) of Hellsongs have been cranking out their quirky lounge versions of metal classics for a few years now. I'll give you a few examples of their handy work to drool over.

In keeping with my recent Pantera binge, here's the original version of Pantera's "Walk."

"Can't you hear, the violins, playing your SOoooooooooooong?!" Damn I love that part.

So here's Hellsongs quirky ass take on this aggro classic.

Mind blown? Mine was.

Here's another example of their hippie/Swedish mind-fuckery:

Yeah, thats "Blackened," by Metallica. Easily one of the most brutal songs they've ever written. Here's how it normally sounds:


The comments on the metalsucks article as well as Hellsongs' youtube videos show just how polarizing stuff like this can be. People either love the breath of proverbial fresh air covers like this provide in the often stale metal community or flat out decry this stuff as retarded, pussy shit. Well, I for one like metal, can be known to act retarded on occasion and happen to embrace my softer "pussy shit" side (see recent Interpol/Arcade Fire posts) so I can't help but gush over what Hellsongs is doing. Check em' out.

Mutterfuckin' Jason Newsted

my friend of misery...

This story over at metalsucks.net, regarding a recent interview where Lars Ulrich discusses Metallica's regrets over Jason Newsted got me thinking.

Ya' see, I have soft spot in my heart when it comes to Metallica. Before I accidentally downloaded "Whiplash" off Napster sometime in the early 00's, I was a modern rock radio type kid and listened to whatever the hell the local DJ's played. I was familiar with Metallica for that "...now I lay me down to sleep," song and the one pussy tune with the violins all the girls at school liked, because even then at the dawn of the new millennium (and even now strangely enough), songs from the Black Album still dominated the air waves. So there I was in a Napster chat room listening to Rage Against the Machine or Everclear or someshit when the sky came falling down, they announced that Metallica was shutting down Napster. The chat rooms where fucking livid. I decided I would steal some of these assholes' music in protest, as much as my beloved 56k connection would allow (remember that shit?!). First song I heard was "Whiplash" off Kill Em' All. Life was changed. Metal head was born. I ended up buying so much of their merch/cds/dvd's/binge & purge bullshits over the years I think I paid for their kids' college education instead of my own. Yeah, I showed them who's boss.

The funny thing is I became a Metallica fan(actic) at the point in time where they were the MOST douchebag-ish in their history. The post Load/Re-Load, short hair, sue the internetz, play with an orchestra, pre- St. Anger period...aka the Metallica Dark Ages. In spite of all this bullshit, the power of the connection I made with their old back catalog was so great that even today I cannot completely turn my back on this band. Every time I hear James sing out of key I picture him chopping his breakfast on a mirror, roaring like a madman on "Master of Puppets." Every time Kirk flubs a solo I think: hey, this is the dude who took that riff from Exodus and made "Creeping Death" the greatest fucking song of all time. Whenever I see/hear Lars halfassing the drums I remember that at one point in his life, this dude played double bass on "Dyer's Eve." So yeah, I defend and put up with Metallica's bullshit because I love their past musical out put so much I put up with the abuse. And this is why my friends, I love Jason Newsted.

sad but true

I identify with the pains and struggles he endured as the band's whipping boy for 14 years. In regards to Metallica, he's like Jesus (with a cool shaved sides haircut), dying for their sins. When I read that Lars felt bad for shitting on Newsted throughout the 80's and 90's, it sort of felt like he was apologizing to ME for Garage Inc. and the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack. During the dark ages, Newsted was Metallica's only ray of light. The only dude with integrity and any common fucking sense within the group. Years have passed and both Jason and I have moved on, beyond Metallica's glorious thrashy roots and despite all the bullshit, we both still support the once mighty "Four Horsemen" to this very day.

So heres to "mutterfuckin' Jason Newsted," (as Lars in the immortal Camp Chaos cartoon refers to him) and his awesome backing vocals. You are missed.

*Watch Jason own the shit out of this video...epic!