Days of Future Past: Old Man Metal

I want to learn how to play guitar so I can sit down plug in and start jamming Slayer songs to unsuspecting listeners like this fine gentlemen does. Age be damned.

I've already got a crap load of grey hairs so I literally expect to look this in about 10 years. This man gives me hope.

Female Obsession: UPDATE

I have scientific evidence proving just how popular my Female Obsession series is here on this ol' blog of mine. All of my top posts ever, as well as a hefty amount of this site's traffic has been because of the lovely ladies I celebrate/worship/ogle. This post will get us up to speed with what some of my previous Female Obsession honorees are up to nowadays.


Kristen Bell: December 2010

The lovely Miss Bell now stars in House of Lies on Showtime. She also was the subject of an awesome viral video from an appearance on Ellen. This clip has something like 10 million+ views!


Kourtney Kardashian: August 2011

Kourtney is pregnant once again with child#2 from her Patrick Bateman wannabe boyfriend =/ Still looks good though!

Kelly Brook: January 2011

 Earlier this year Kelly launched her a new line of lingerie that she designed herself. Best part is, she also decided to model them as well =p

Lucy Liu: October 2011

Lucy joined the cast of TNT's acclaimed cop drama Southland. She's super fired up on this show and looks damn good in that uniform also.


Vanessa Hudgens: April 2011

Vanessa starred in 2012's Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. I didn't see this flick (naturally) but she looked cute as hell in the trailer. Hudge is also filming a new movie with the mighty Selena Gomez that I shall be blogging about VERY soon...

Maria Menounos: January 2011 (yeah I did two installments that month....sue me)

Maria's been quite the busy bee these past few months. She made headlines when she stripped down to her bikini on her TV show Extra after losing a Super Bowl bet. Then she was rumored to have seduced Mr. Holy Roller himself, former Denver Bronco's quarterback Tim Tebow. Of course now Maria is on the latest season of Dancing With The Stars.

Yes, I even love her goofy laugh.

I'm back...and so are The Shins!

My eyes burn less these days. Still watery and itchy but I can actually type a sentence (or two) on this old laptop of mine without wanting to jam pencils in my eye sockets. A small victory but I'll take what I can get. Aside from my not so triumphant return, The Shins are back with a new album! Here they are rocking out on Letterman. I can see again and The Shins have returned. All is right with the universe.

Allergies/Time Off

MFW allergy season kicks my ass

So I've been neglecting this here blog lately. I actually had some cool ideas for new posts but that's going to have to wait a bit. My allergies are kicking up (like mega Oprah horrible) and my poor ol' eyeballs are taking the brunt of the beating. Wearing contacts is next to impossible these days since my eyes are red, watery, dripping goo half the time and itchy as hell. It's so bad that I can't even sit in front of a computer for too long without wanting to jam pencils in my eyelids. And with that graphic description out of the way, I'm going to be MIA from the interwebz for a few days. Give my eyes a rest and maybe brush up on thee ol' drum kit. Maybe. Hopefully. Either way: TTFN.

Hot Chicks w/ Guitars: The Iron Maidens

My last post was quite a bummer. I also had a horrible time at work last night. Today I plan on reversing the trend of negativity the only way I know how...with Courtney Cox and Nita Strauss of The Iron Maidens playing "Aces High."



The Iron Maidens are the worlds only all female Iron Maiden tribute band. They're based out of Southern California and I've been trying to see them live for YEARS. Strange, because they play the Santa Fe Springs swap meet a lot and I still can't manage to get my ass down there for a free show =/ Either way, The Iron Maidens rule. They've had a lot of lineup changes over the past decade, but these lovely ladies are the band's current axe slingers.

I hope this brightened your day as much as it has mine. Even if you don't like Iron Maiden or hot ladies rocking out/shredding on the guitar...you might still get a kick out of this next video. The dude filming has a straight up heart-gasm (heart attack/orgasm) when they start playing "The Trooper." Pure comedy.

Trayvon Martin Murdered: Something Is Wrong

murdered over Skittles.

So this story, about 17 year old Trayvon Martin being shot and killed by a overzealous neighborhood watch captain in Florida last week is about 3 weeks old now and the dude who murdered this kid has yet to be charged with a crime.

long video but here's a brief rundown:
-17 year old African American kid is walking to his dad's house from the store.
-He's carrying Skittles and a canned tea.
-Is confronted by an armed neighborhood watch captain (who's 10 years old/100lbs heavier).
-Ends up getting shot in the chest and dies.
-Shooter claims it was self defense.
-My brain explodes.

Heartbreaking. Infuriating. Tragic. Disgusting. All of the above.
The one and only Youtube sensation The Amazing Atheist has a video post about Trayvon Martin and other horrifically disturbing news headlines that remind us all how ass backwards we are as a species.


I don't enjoy being a Debbie Downer all the time but man, these types of headlines make me wish for Global Warming or that super volcano/Caldera under Yellowstone to kick into gear and end our fucked up reign of terror over this planet.

It's an election year here in the states, so we're about to be bombarded with all sorts of congratulatory, self righteous, nationalist propaganda that usually would just annoy the hell out of me. It's hearing that type of vapid rhetoric after being exposed to ugly truths like this that make me want puke.

I'm not all fire and brimstone though. I really think one day, in the future when humanity finally breaks free from the divisive/oppressive/exploitative shackles of organized religions and capitalism; we can all live together as happy little commies in a true Star Trek like utopia. But that's the distant future. If we don't nuke ourselves first.

I leave you with Detective Somerset:

R.I.P. Made Out Of Babies

R.I.P.

I got word yesterday that Made Out of Babies had broken up. I was BUMMED. Major league bummed. I've been down with the Babies (ha..love typing that) since their 2005 debut album Trophy. They've been one of my favorite bands ever since. Hailing from NYC, they didn't make it out to the West Coast very often but I was lucky enough to catch them live in 2009 (w/ Intronaut & Kylesa....was an awesome show!) This really shouldn't have been such a shock, the band hadn't released any new material in four years and their frontwoman Julie Christmas officially launched her solo career in 2010. Maybe it's because I've never stopped listening to their three full length albums over the years that the band has always felt very much alive to me.

Crazy name aside, I really thought Made Out Of Babies could have been big. They wrote some rockin' songs and had one hell of vocalist & frontwoman. Their music was heavy enough to sway metal heads (like myself) but artsy enough for indie/hipster kids as well. Julie's voice is out of this world. Think Linda Blair from The Exorcist meets Bjork, crossed with a schizophrenic school girl...on drugs. She's gone solo now and has lent her vocals to a number of other projects but nothing has wowed me as much as the chemistry between Julie and her Made Out of Babies band mates. Sucks they never received the success/accolades they deserved.

I've selected three songs, one from each of their albums, for your listening pleasure. Hope you dig their sound. I know I have.

03 Made Out Of Babies - El Morgan by Waste of Time

Exhausted @ Disneyland

My girlfriend's birthday was this weekend. Spent 11 hours at Disneyland yesterday (mostly California Adventure but whatever) and can no longer feel my legs. Had fun though. We went out with friends the night before and the time change successfully kicked my ass as well.

where nothing can possi-blye go wrong

I hadn't been to Disneyland in over a year so I was stoked to finally get on the new Star Tours 3D ride. It was sweet. We went on that and Soarin' Over California twice. Also did Tower of Terror, California Screamin', Toy Story Midway, Big Thunder Mountain, and saw the World of Color show. Did I mention I'm TIRED? We have annual passes again now so my aching feet will probably be back in Anaheim before I know what hit me.


The force is strong with this ride...

I got TAGGED

So Ms. Jas from Smile Big and Pretty tagged me in one of those blogger questioner/survey things. Here is how the setup works:

So here are 11 random facts about myself:

1) As a kid I was so geeky I could identify all of my X-MEN/Marvel action figures with my eyes closed, solely by touch.
2) The first 10 seasons of The Simpsons is like my Bible. I turn to them for strength in times of need, and can quote dialogue like scripture.
3) I'm in my mid-twenties (soon to be late twenties =/ ) but people still think I'm 19, despite the fact that:
4) I have a crap load of grey hair.
5) I'm a fairly liberal/progressive guy but have a general disdain for both Democrats and Republicans that run/ruin these United States of America.
6) Once I get my head out of my ass, I want to attend film school.
7) I hate spiders.
8) I love doughnuts & Haribo gummy bears.
9) I don't drink or do drugs. Never have, hopefully, never will.
10) Even though I'm nice and brown, I cannot speak a lick of Spanish.
11) I can run four rows seven consistently without getting snowed ( I don't expect anyone to get that but if you do, "Right On").

Am I cool or what?

So here's what Jas wanted to know:
1. What was a moment in your life where you truly felt you were cheated?
When I first needed glasses and all my other friends didn't. Damn you genetics!

2. Do you get along with your parents?
Yes. They annoy me at times as I'm sure I do them but they're my parents..what r ya gonna do? Sometimes, I feel like I'm their parent though. Hence my grey hairs.

3. How did you get along with others as a child?
I always liked playing and goofing off with other kids except I sucked at sports and I'm an only child so, sometimes I liked just chilling alone.

4. Any particularly interesting habits you do when you are bored?
Workout. Like Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver or Patrick Bateman in American Psycho.

5. Do you have any good impressions? Of who?
Apparently I'm quite good and mimicking my boss and most of my co-workers. I get so bored at work sometimes I start to notice all the weird little things everyone else does and BAM. Impressions are born.

6. Favorite movie - why?
For the longest time it was Taxi Driver (at first because of typical awkward teenage angst/alienation stuff but then because Scorsese is the man) but ever since 2007 it's There Will Be Blood. Why? Three words: Paul. Thomas. Anderson.

7. Have you ever found yourself obsessing over characters in your favorite books/films?
Yes. All the time. I've already done it in this post! Sometimes I doubt if there is an actual "me," and if I'm not just a hodgepodge of random quotes and trivia trapped in flesh.

8. Most audacious thing you have done to date. Go.
This sounds retarded but it's the first thing that came to mind. Nineteen (maybe twenty) year old me went skinny dipping with some girl on a cold winter night because she dared me. Forgot to take off my glasses when we jumped in (checking her out...duh). Long story short, I got sick and started wearing contact lenses afterward.

9. You notice a child being picked on in elementary school. It is your time to be that cool grown up to give advice/help out. What do you say/do?
Tell that poor kid that although it may seem like the end of the world for them now, all the petty crap that goes on in school doesn't matter and their bullies/tormentors will probably grow up to have miserable lives anyways, so jokes on them.

10. Have you ever taken the blame for someone else's fart to save them from embarrassment?
No. I wish someone would have done that for me though during silent reading in 1st grade. I laugh about it now though.

11. What was the first time that you felt truly special?
Scoring 1 million points in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 using Darth Maul (secret character unlocked baby!) in the Airport level. Pretty rad if I say so myself. haha.


Welp, it's my turn to ask some questions.
1. What part of the country/world are you from and do you like it's weather?
2. If you could spend a week anywhere on Earth, where would you go?
3. What's your favorite film- why?
4. Which celebrity/athlete/world leader would you like to meet (first name that pops in your head!)?
5) Monster truck or Mini Cooper?
6) What was your worst subject in school?
7) If you could transform your favorite hobby/pastime into a career, you'd be a professional what?
8) You wake up tomorrow and discover you've suddenly become a pro wrestler...what's your theme song/entrance music going to be?
9) Opinions on nationalism?
10) How do you kill time whenever there's a power outage?
11) Jesus VS Darth Vader...who wins the battle of the midi-chlorians?!

Please keep in mind that you aren't obligated to respond /participate in this little game. Hell, I wasn't even sure If I would! Either way:

D4, Angry Lurker, Anne, Matthew, Pat Hatt, Bloggerati, Tsaritsa, .. Me and My Thinking Cap, Zombies Everywhere, My 2 Pesos and Clique (if you've got available internet) as well as Jas herself;

have at it. You could answer below in the comments if it's easier.

Later.

DrumTHRONE: John Longstreth

The Aftermath

John Longstreth is the king of death metal drumming. I'd use more encapsulating terms like "extreme music" or what have you but according to this post on moderndrummer, he hates that. Either way, John is the end all, be all of this shit plain and simple. Speed, precision, technical chops, groove and originality, the man is unstoppable behind the kit and worst of all...he makes it all look so damned easy.

Longstreth's primary focus these days is his band Origin. He's also a member of Gorguts and Dim Mak and has previously worked with Angelcorpse and Skinless. It's ironic that I first became aware of Longstreth's playing in the mid 2000's when Origin's album Echoes of Decimation was coming out and it was during this period that Longstreth had actually quit the band. All the hype for their new release and hearing about "gravity blasts" every 5 seconds made me curious what the hell Origin was so I checked out their previous album and was exposed to Longstreth's insane playing.

John was one of the first metal drummers to incorporate "the free hand technique" (a one handed drum roll explained HERE by Johnny Rabb) into his blast beat repertoire and helped pioneer the gravity blast:

Perhaps the most inspiring/frightening thing about Longstreth is his versatility. Sure, he can just rip through insane double bass speeds and gravity blast until the cows come home if he wanted, but in recent years, John has begun incorporating all the more grooves into his playing. Origin's last two albums are chock-full all sorts of tasty latin/jazz inspired rolls and ride cymbal attacks. Not to mention, the typewriter from hell double bass playing. Yes it seems that with every new album John is somehow getting faster and faster. This is probably due to him constantly challenging himself. Longstreth never seems to settle and is always changing things up behind the kit. Like literally always changing his drum setup on every tour. He has also pioneered yet another technique that is bound to shake up the extreme mu....er, death metal drumming world: his double stroke foot technique.

Here's an old video of John playing with Origin 6 years ago:

notice his tilted snare drum and odd looking posture. This was when John played heels down and needed all that space to leverage his body into hitting those speeds.

Flash forward to 2008 and Longstreth ditches his unique heels down approach and now plays double strokes with his feet (RR LL). Not heel toe, or slide or swivel, straight up double strokes. I remember seeing Origin in 2010 and standing directly to the side of Longstreth. I'd never seen anything like his double strokes before.


So there it is. John Longstreth, my favorite death metal drummer...and not just because I caught one of his drum sticks @ 2009's Summer Slaughter tour either =p

*BONUS LONGSTRETH OVERDOSE CLIP*

Chicks with Drums: Fumie

found this girl on youtube the other night. All I know is that she's Japanese, likes metal, and tears up the drums! Here she is nailing this Children of Bodom song. Too bad she hasn't updated her channel in over a year. Oh wells.

under-covers: Tommy James & The Shondells / Joan Jett & The Black Hearts

Perhaps, one of the greatest guilty pleasures in my life: the perverse enjoyment I get listening to musicians covering other artist's songs. The weirder the cover, the better! It doesn't matter how awkward or horrible the quality (shitty cell phone video, I'm looking at you), I'm an absolute sucker for this stuff. Here's the latest installment of "under-covers."

Today we head back to the 1960's and feature one of the greatest pop songs ever written with Tommy James & The Shondells' classic tune, "Crimson and Clover."

How could you not love that song? It's so ethereal and spacey, almost trance inducing. The guitars echo in your mind while Tommy James' voice haunts you till the end of days. The whole package is so sweet and saccharine I swear I get a tooth ache every time I hear it yet cannot stop pushing replay.

Now we come to the sexiest woman in the history of music (period), the one and only, Joan Jett. She and her merry men of black-hearted musicians add some serious UMPH to this song. Beefing up the guitars and injecting Joan's snarly attitude all over it's DNA. Still, her voice remains pleasant and dare I say soft throughout, well as soft as Joan Jett can get I suppose. Here it is: 

*SWOONS*
I don't care if she's in her 50's and could kick my ass. Joan Jett...you had me at hello.
Don't you love how Tommy James sounds more feminine than Joan does?

I honestly can't choose between these two versions. Let's just play it safe and assume that any version of "Crimson and Clover," hell...even any reference to it (hello there Jimmy Eat World's "A Praise Chorus") is going to rule.

What do you kids think?