The Answer Is...(4)

Congratulations to YeamieWaffles and Pat Hatt for winning yesterday's Take a Guess Challenge! I've never had two winners before, but you two both know your stuff! Congrats again.

The answer to yesterday's post is:
Fred Dekker's 1987 cult comedy/horror classic, The Monster Squad.

So what is The Monster Squad? Well, imagine The Goonies on steroids. Instead of dealing with crooks and pirates, The Monster Squad kids battle the unholy forces of evil! They're not a bunch of sniveling pussies either. No, the sassy middle school punks from Monster Squad, use foul language, raunchy humor, weapons, explosives and like to look at naked chicks with binoculars, voyeur style. And while Sloth did look kind of gnarly in The Goonies, he's got NOTHING on the awesome creatures in Monster Squad. The film features all the original Universal Studios monsters from the 1930's, re-imagined by Stan Winston and updated for the Reagan era. I first saw this film in either or 90' or 91'. The point is, I was extremely young. My aunt recorded it off HBO one night using fancy VCR technology. I cherished that tape for the next two decades.

swag

So the film follows a group of pre-teens who like to hang in their tree house and talk about monster films/comics and other geeky sci-fi shit. Seems innocent enough, until Mother Fucking Count Dracula comes to town. Dracula starts rounding up a posse, consisting of some jailbait lolita vamps, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, Frankenstein's Monster and the coolest looking Creature from the Black Lagoon (aka the Gill-Man) ever. Strange things start happening, people start dying, 2,000 year old mummies vanishing from museums. You know, weird shit. With all the grownups head's firmly up their own asses, it's up to the members of the Monster Squad to save the day!

Sounds cheesy I know (and it partially is), but this flick is way more mature than it should be. First, the monsters are pretty hardcore. Dracula and the Wolf Man tear through more cops than I can count. Every time you see a dude in a Sheriff hat he's only moments away from getting his ass kicked. That, and they're also trying to kill a bunch of children. Like legitimately kill the fuckers. Dracula evens TNT's their tree house! Second, the kids get away with saying and doing some stuff that simply would not fly in a modern PG-13 movie. Case in point:

Ok, that wasn't so bad. Just a cutesy five year old hanging with a giant zombie, using a little profanity.
The rest of the squad is bit more frank. They curse, vandalize & blackmail their little hearts out and it's oh so amusing. This might sound crazy, but I think the Monster Squad gang was an indirect influence on South Park. Watch this movie a few times and I think you'll agree with me.

my personal hero: RUDY

Like most 80's popcorn flicks, Monster Squad is rife with ingenious one liners. That clip above where little Phoebe calls her brother's gang chickenshit. There's Rudy, the ultimate badass this side of The Man With No Name, valiantly heading into battle saying:
                                             "I'm in the goddamn club aren't I?"
And how could we forgot the moment where Fat Kid kills the Gill-Man and proudly clarifies what his real name is:


So there you have it. The Monster Squad is easily one of my favorite movies of all time. I watched that VHS tape my aunt gave me for 15+ years until I found a bootleg rip of the film on DVD in the mid 2000's. Then, in 2007, the film was finally, officially released on DVD in a special two-disc 20th anniversary edition. I'm still reeling with excitement in case you can't tell!

Here's the clip from The Monster Squad that features the horribly awesome Michael Sembello song from the previous Take a Guess challenge. This is montage of the squad preparing for their coming battle against the monsters is perhaps my favorite 80's montage of all, 2nd only to Rocky IV's training in the snow sequence.


This year, spend your Halloween with The Monster Squad, and kick anyone dressed as a werewolf in the balls =)